I’m starting to suppose possibly some folks forgot how unhealthy the unique motion pictures really received. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III was when the cracks began to point out within the mighty youngsters’s franchise, indicators that artistic fatigue had set in, or that the arduous work put into the primary two movies weren’t carrying over. The film was unhealthy, a lot in order that it disenchanted youngsters in all places and even broke up blissful properties. That’s why I’ve been speaking about it so negatively for all these years, attempting to verify folks perceive how unhealthy the third film is, however with it celebrating thirty years of existence, I figured it could be a very good time to debate how I’d really attempt to repair this travesty with out altering it utterly.

The place do we start? Nicely, the script in all probability looks as if an important factor, however even an exquisite story may be torn aside by these behind the digicam. Every little thing has to work nicely collectively to some extent and that begins with the director and his crew. On this case, TMNT3 was helmed by Stuart Gilliard, a person principally identified for his work on tv, and there’s a purpose for that. After this atrocity, his profession would go proper again to the small display screen, however his failure right here is probably going as a result of Gillard didn’t got down to make an superior Ninja Turtles film, no, he needed to make his concept of an epic Samurai movie. This didn’t work, and though a number of the technical points had been superb, another person was wanted who had extra of an appreciation for the supply materials, or at the very least the style. For my choose, I’d both go seasoned with Matthew Vaughn (X-Males: First Class, Kick-Ass) or take an opportunity on somebody like Marc Webb (500 Days of Summer time, The Superb Spider-Man).

Whereas we’re at it, let’s go forward and change out the remainder of the crew aside from possibly the situation scout and cinematographer, as that is the lushest and most colourful TMNT movie out of the originals. I don’t wish to say nobody else cared concerning the mission, however they didn’t even spell Michelangelo’s title accurately on the finish. The advertising folks may not have been too unhealthy, as they did have a Burger King tie-in and it gave youngsters and collectors alike some new motion figures, however the trailers weren’t doing this film any favors. The writing was on the wall, as TMNT III wasn’t even screened for critics and was brutalized upon launch.

On the audio facet, we have to attempt to get the voice actors for the Turtles a bit extra into it and nail these traces a little bit extra. It’s nice to have Corey Feldman again, however Splinter isn’t doing it for me. I do know there may be some controversy round Kevin Conflict, the unique performer, however we will discover somebody higher. Whereas we’re at it, let’s drop these whacky sound results, simply to assist the tone a bit extra, that doesn’t imply all of them should go, however most are out. Lastly, the soundtrack is ok. I nonetheless have a duplicate of the CD sitting on my shelf and folks love some “Tarzan Boy” by Baltimora.

Yet one more factor concerning the presentation, the enormous turtle within the room because it had been, and that’s how the boys had been trying again then. These costumes want an improve. It’s unhappy that Jim Henson’s Creature Store didn’t return (rumored to be as a result of cash) and the price range in all probability pressured them to decrease the bar extra, however in our reimagining right here, we don’t have issues like that. Because the years handed, the comparisons to the older fits turned extra evident, and the unhealthy lip actions stood out extra, making these tougher to view. These aren’t the worst-looking variations of the Turtles in live-action, however they’re nonetheless significantly missing. If that wasn’t sufficient, take note of how we by no means really see Splinter’s decrease physique, or once we do it’s hidden by material, as a result of they didn’t end it. Now that’s high quality.

So let’s discuss concerning the story. Readers are most definitely acquainted with this plot, however for individuals who aren’t, the film includes April O’Neil (Paige Turco) selecting up an outdated vintage Japanese egg timer as a present for Splinter (James Murray) that seems to be an historic scepter that sends her again via time to feudal Japan. When she leaves, Kenshin (Henry/Eidan Hanzei) arrives in her place, each shocked to be in 1603 and 1993 respectively. The Turtles should observe their greatest human pal again in time, however doing this brings 4 different folks, honor guards defending the time scepter ahead, so Casey Jones (Elias Koteas) is introduced in to assist Splinter babysit them. Previously, the heroes try to rescue April after which assist the rebels defeat Lord Norinaga (Sab Shimono) and his overseas ally who has all of the weapons, Walker (Stuart Wilson). Couple this with a couple of small facet plots and the quartet shedding their solely approach dwelling, and we’ve a film, one which most definitely appeared superb on paper.

This story was partially taken from the Mirage run of TMNT, points #46 and #47, however that and the episode of the cartoon the place the 4 brothers return in time are each totally different from the film, even when they had been going for a synergistic cross-media time journey type get together. There was additionally the Turtles in Time arcade recreation, launched in 1991, that may have made for a greater film, however I’d hate to see the price range on that.

As to not deviate from the unique concept of the film an excessive amount of, we depart the time scepter as the massive McGuffin for the movie and ignore the comedian, the place it’s introduced into play by a busty ally named Renet, who’s a timestress. In truth, the opening of the movie works, beginning out in 1603 and organising the battle with these characters, permitting Mitsu’s (Vivian Wu) insurrection and her relationship with Kenshin to take middle stage for a bit. That is necessary, seeing as the unique reduce provides us only a few causes to care about what’s happening or to know why combating towards the Daimyo issues a lot. Utilizing this strategy can even, hopefully, give Kenshin a greater introduction after his horse chase than having him angrily reduce down torches.

My plan can be to have April supply her egg timer as a present just for her to nonetheless be despatched again in time, however we don’t change her with anybody. Let Splinter’s massive second be explaining what he is aware of of the scepter and hinting on the fantasy of the Turtles as Japanese legends, kappas. He’s smart, so he’ll have already found out that the boys have to return in time, as a result of they’ve already carried out so, and he doesn’t wish to mess with historical past. Donatello nonetheless will get to do his science stuff on the time scepter and within the meantime, Casey is known as, he comes to assist discover April as nicely and possibly even stows away with the brothers towards their needs, involved for his love. Sending Casey again in time makes the character of Whit extra necessary and permits him to show his ancestor about being a very good man and never a traitor, giving Koteas a extra necessary position within the movie. This might even get into some Again to the Future-style shenanigans with Casey probably not being born if he doesn’t set his household line straight.

With the principle characters having extra purpose to remain prior to now and assist out, we don’t have to have them lose the scepter and attempt to make one other one, since they’d understand they will’t make a replica have the identical magical properties (although Michelangelo ought to nonetheless try to prepare dinner pizza and speak about opening up a franchise), however relatively lose it when Whit kidnaps Mitsu. All of this collectively ought to assist construct funding within the insurrection, the villagers, and towards the unhealthy guys.

In between these beats, focus extra on the Romeo and Juliet scenario between Kenshin and Mitsu, how the latter is trying to overthrow his father from the within and the previous isn’t simply combating for love, however for her nation. This leaves Kenshin to should develop up in some methods and understand why his beloved can’t simply run away with him however wants to remain and battle. We are able to additionally nonetheless have Raphael bond with Yoshi, the younger boy, so the 2 can assist one another with their anger points. Raph realizing how a lot he’s grown himself is without doubt one of the few good character moments within the movie.

The final key story factor is to exchange the villains. It’s a bit unhappy as a result of I respect each of the actors who play Walker and Norinaga, however there isn’t a lot to them. The comics had an enormous mutant lizard samurai for his or her model of this plot and I can’t assist however really feel we received the shaft. When Michelangelo tried to match Walker to Clint Eastwood in that one scene, I spotted this isn’t working as a result of we aren’t given any good causes to actually hate or worry them, however making one among them a mutant or simply exhibiting them being extra inherently evil. This might additionally assist us keep away from the unhealthy results of Walker’s loss of life scene.

There may be one factor that we completely should steal from the comedian for our ending as an alternative of that faux out with Mikey. What’ll assist this shaky script it doesn’t matter what is that the folks the great guys helped overthrow the ruthless Lord have now been educated to defend themselves and can change for the higher for it, studying martial arts and agreeing to by no means let anybody else rule them once more. These folks will type a brand new group, a clan, The Foot Clan.

Roll these rattling credit!

Hold the film across the similar runtime, give the Turtles a greater intro and ending that doesn’t contain dancing, have Splinter inform a greater joke, and up the variety of battle scenes because the Turtles can use their weapons once more on this film. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III has the fewest battle scenes of all the unique trilogy and that must be fastened, we got here to see Ninja Turtles.

This concept isn’t good, however it’s significantly better than what we acquired and I’ve a sense it could be tickling nostalgia bones all these years later as an alternative of smelling of disappointment and remorse.